Tuesday, May 03, 2011

this is an ER nurse

Top ten characteristics of an ER nurse:

1) toughness - be able take being called a racist bitch, a fat cow, be swung at, etc

2) Strong stomach: I have seen every color of everything that can come out of a person and everything that can be done to the human body and had to smell it too

3) Sales ability: you have to be able to sell ice to an eskimo in order to talk people into you doing painful or uncomfortable things to them

4) Acting ability 1: you have to be able to act like you care even if the patient is a complete jerk

5) Acting ability 2: you have to be able to keep a straight face no matter what someone tells you: yeah they did put that there...

6) Nerves of steel: you have to remain calm when a couple of hood rats run into triage with their friend who is shot in the head

7) morbid sense of humor - you have to find gross, cruel things funny

8) physical fitness - you have to have the ability to not eat for up to 12 hours, hold you bladder for up to 12 hours, help lift those upwards of 500 lbs, contort your body to do things in a room the size of a closet

9) good instincts - you have to be able to spot a drug seeker a mile away, know when someone is about to go down the toilet

10) be humble - ask for help when you need it, know you don't know everything

Anything to add?

1 comment:

ERP said...

Agility. Have to be able to dodge flying faeces, vomit, urine, emesis basins, bed pans, and drunken fists. And clumsy MD's come ons.