Wednesday, February 08, 2012

the bat shit crazy club

After many years in the ER, I have developed certain talents. I would say one that I have perfected is the ability to keep a straight face. You could tell me that you have are growing a second head or have a tuba up your behind, and I would tell you "okay, have a seat in the waiting room, we'll be with you shortly". There is little that you could tell me that would stun me. Heard it all, seen it all.

With that in mind, may I say that there are many bat shit crazy, freak-deaky people in this world,and eventually, they make their way down to the emergency room. I had one a couple of months ago. This dude seemed to be making a game out of how far he could go with all these bizarre facts about himself and his life. I'm not even going to get into it here because it is just too weird.

I thought what is this guy getting out of this? Telling me all this weird shit. Is he doing it for attention? For effect? Is he trying to freak me out? All I thought about him was that he was a fucking nut. I avoided him as much as I could.

I didn't discharge him, the charge nurse did. She said to me she hadn't know he couldn't hear. I said, couldn't hear? The man had been talking to me and hearing me just fine. It turns out when she went in to do the discharge, he starting using sign language like he couldn't hear. Bat shit crazy, just like I said. This world is a crazy place. There are more lunatics than you realize


Nurse Nicky said...

This is absolutely hilarious. I'm looking at taking an ED position so I love the insight you provide. Thanks for sharing!

Meghan said...

Yea, I had a lady the other night who was just mortified that she hadn't shaved in a couple of days. I was tying to reassure her- seriously, we really don't notice. She was convinced we'd all be talking about her after she left. I was just thinking- you have no freaking idea what we see. Hairy legs arent even tripping the radar these days