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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

a cockroachectomy

Ah, the modern cockroach. A miracle of nature really. Rumor has it that it could survive a nuclear holocaust. Not a fun thing to have in your house, thats for sure. Not a fun thing to have crawling around on yer bod either. But it happens. You could be snoozing, sawing logs as it were, and in it goes to your ear. Seems like a good place to set up shop..

You wake up and feel something in your ear, maybe hear something in your ear. You may suspect its a bug. So who ya gonna call? Certainly not ghostbusters. No y'all know exactly where yer goin", right on down to yer neighborhood emergency room.

Here's the thing about having a cockroach in your ear that the average ER nurse enjoys: we don't have to have anything to do with it..this operation is all about the doctor. It is most certainly out of my scope of practice to have anything to do with going inside somebodys ear. Its one of the few times that the doctor has to deal with something icky. Its one of those few times when the doc can't say: "bed 3 (who has been having diarrhea q10" since arrival) needs to get on the bed pain" and gleefully walk away.

The doctor has to look and see that indeed, there is a squirming roach in your ear. Most of the time, they put in a gelatinous substance called viscious lidocaine which not only numbs the ear, but suspends said cockroach in a gooey substance for easy removal. Down the toilet it goes and out the door you go happy as a clam.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

As an ER doc, I can say that I don't mind removing bugs from ears and that I know for a fact that it isn't nearly as gross as diarrhea on a bed pan.

Anonymous said...

Why on earth would you go to all the trouble of writing this blog and not spellcheck it?

Anonymous said...

You know I've often had the same thought. I mean supposedly this woman has a college degree, you would think that she would want things to be spelled right...this blog has been going downhill for a while...

Jon said...

You two need to get over
yourselves. I'm sure the blog is written for more than your mere entertainment. Go elsewhere if you don't like it.

DocV

Dan said...

Hey Girlvet, lemme guess -- thing one and thing two both posted from the same IP address? How charming! And for the record, I like your posts.

Anonymous said...

Stop reading it, asshole.

Madness, you're brain is fried from the idiots you deal with all day, it's cool.

AluckyCharm said...

I've learned from working with doctor's most of them can't spell nothing but medical terminology and their name! It's not a big deal, folks find the simplest thing's to fuss about. Life is too short, stop being so crabby of misspelled words.. and go help a homeless person find shelter, or a starving and abuse mother or child find refuge.. stop getting mad over little things...

AluckyCharm said...

I've learned from working with doctor's most of them can't spell nothing but medical terminology and their name! It's not a big deal, folks find the simplest thing's to fuss about. Life is too short, stop being so crabby of misspelled words.. and go help a homeless person find shelter, or a starving and abuse mother or child find refuge.. stop getting mad over little things...

Anonymous said...

When I first read the title I said to myself, Gee. I hope she explains how to get the roach out of the ear. Thanks for not disappointing!

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