There are four areas in my ER.
Area #1 AKA the HELLHOLE
This area is where the drunks, dopers, old lady/man weakness, suiciders, people with 89 problems and now they got another one. Its the patient who need to be cathed, put on the commode, need every test know to man. It has 2 critical rooms, one of which is right next to the desk.
Last week I sat at the desk, across from the desk while my patient kept shouting that I was a "bitch", "aren't nurses supposed to be nice?" All this because I turned down a request that this person made which couldn't happen. 2 psych rooms. BTW, as a general rule I AM NOT NICE.
Area #2 AKA CRAZY TOWN
This area is twice as big as area #1. The only thing I could compare this area is times square. Sensory overload. It is loud, chaotic. Too many people in too small of a space There is always a dull roar. As a nurse, sometimes its hard to find a seat here. It is the kind of area, where when it starts ramping up, it really ramps up.
Area #3 AKA HOOD RAT PLAYHOUSE
This is the area where all the local hood rats come for their boo boos, drips, pregnancy tests, womitting x 1 hr, BACK PAIN!!!, etc. It is supposed to be a kind of urgent care area but of course it isn't. People often stay here longer than in the main ER because everybody has to have a "liter of saline, zofran and Dilaudid". You know how diners have specials? Well, the special in HOOD RAT PLAYHOUSE is saline, zofran and dilaudid. Working there makes you want to jump off the parking ramp.
Area #4 AKA SATANS PLAYGROUND
Ah, triage, every ER nurses nightmare. You never know whats coming next. Sometimes the devil himself shows up at the window. There is a lot of temptation in triage. The triage staff is tempted to slap some people silly. My tongue is always raw and bleeding after a triage shift, because I am contantly biting it. Unbelievable things happen in triage: heads spin and green vomit spews, people roll on the floor, there is screaming, weeping, many a tooth are gnashed. Its the seventh layer of hell.
And that, my friends, is my ER in a nutshell.