coming back from Mars

Veering off topic a little today. This is about a subject near and dear to my heart: veterans. I read an article today on medical news today about veteran suicide.

We are in 2-3 wars, even more, depending on how you view it. One is "winding down" in Iraq, although if you believe that we will ever be completely out of there, I have some swampland in Florida for sale. A close relative is on his way there now, deployed for one year for the second time. So people are still being deployed to Iraq. Afghanistan: no end in sight. Why we are still there boggles my mind. We are sacrificing US soldiers lives in a place that has not changed and won't change when we leave. We are involved in Libya, air forces being used.

These wars are not "conventional" wars, not the old fashioned world war II type wars. It is difficult to determine who is your enemy or who is your friend. Deployed up to 4 times in the space of several years, you are asked to sacrifice over and over again, along with your family. Here's the thing: you are among a relatively small group of people who volunteered to defend this country. You are "protecting" us from terrorism. There is no draft, no one else is being asked to sacrifice for the cause. Most people don't give you much thought, your death is several pages back in the newspaper.

Coming back from war is like coming back from Mars. You were stripped down to the basics of survival: gun and assorted war paraphenailia, clothes, family pictures, cot if you're lucky, tent. All prentensions of normal life have fallen by the wayside as you depend on your fellow soldiers and develop the kind of bonds with them that you will never develop with anyone again. Then you watch them die. You accept what may be your own inevitable death.

You come back, expected to rejoin your old life, but you have changed, disoriented by a world that has gone on without you. There is really no one to talk to about your experiences even if you wanted because no one really wants to hear it and soldiers don't talk about emotions with each other. Soldiers don't go to counselors, they are supposed to be strong. If you are lucky, you somehow put it in a box, move on. If you don't, it haunts you. You become one of 18 veterans who commit suicide daily in this country, about 6,000 a year.

No one seems to care. We have sanitized these wars. No one sees the dead bodies or missing limbs. We see no bodies coming back. That is carefully hidden. We are okay with you and the others protecting our precious freedom, with little personal sacrifice on our part.

family members from hell

In my never ending quest to entertain y'all, I offer the following categories of various FAMILY MEMBERS FROM HELL:

DOORWAY GAWKER- stands in room doorway and stares at the staff, arms folded, from the doorway with an impatient, angry look on their face
THE VENTRILOQUIST - talks for the patient until you tell them to stop it
THE SHADOW- you have to pry this person away from the patients bedside in order to do your job. then they watch every move you make as you start an IV, give meds, etc.
APATHETIC ANN/ANDY - brings a book, laptop - has a sort of been here/done this attitude - seems uninterested in whats going on
THE SUCKER - accompanies a patient with some kind of bogus chronic problem and has bought into it hook, line and sinker
THE KLEPTOMANIAC - you might catch this person rummaging through the cupboards, drawers and perhaps pocketing a thing or twoTHE ERRAND RUNNER - may come up to the desk requesting warm blankets, footies, water, food, more pain meds, etc etc etc
MAMAS BOY MAMA - accompanies their grown son or daughter to the ER and sits with concerned look at bedside
BABY DADDY - accompanies girlfriend to ER and is suspicious of any male that comes into the room. Wants to stay there when pelvic exam is being done.
THE DUMPER- drops off confused mom/dad/annoying sibling/girlfriend/boyfriend and leaves
SPACE INVADERS - crosses that line into the staff area or follows the doctor into their area - definitely a no no
CHRISTMAS GIFTERS - brings mom/dad/grandma who they haven't seen for months to ER because they "aren't doing that well/can't take care of themselves/need to go to a nursing home"
CHICKEN LITTLE - runs to triage desk requesting help for mom/dad/etc in the car who are dying (99% of the time they are fine). Comes up to the desk and tells you heart monitor is dinging - is that OK??!!!
SUSPICIOUS STAN/STELLA- takes notes - wants names of staff, name of medication, name of tests. Has special "medical notebook".
I know, I know I'm evil. Oh well....that's already been established....

20 uses for duct tape in the ER

I have done a blog post on this before, so may I should call this: 20 USES FOR DUCT TAPE IN ER II

1)IV pole broke: Tape the IV bag to any nearby surface: the monitor, the wall, the patients relative, etc.

2) Demented Donald trying to get out of bed? Duct tape will keep him in bed.

3) Duct tape that irritating drunks mouth shut.

4) No security available to watch your suicidal patient? Duct tape will keeep them in bed and SAFE.

4) Out of arm slings? Fashion one out of a piece of cardboard and tape.

5) Patient hairy and need to put him on the monitor? Duct tape will remove that hair for lead placement.

6) Backboards all in use? Take the sliding board, some rolled towels and tape and fashion your own version of spine stablization.

7) Duct tape your manager to a chair.

8) Low on suture or staples: A quick and easy laceration repair.

9) Tape patients gown together for trip to bathroom.

10) Out of adult diapers: use towel and duct tape substitute.

11) Tape NG, ET tube, foley in place.

12) Tape patients wig or toupee in place.

13) Never lose it again: tape you pen, scissors, roll of tape, stethoscope to yourself.

14) Make letters RN on uniform so patients will know you are their nurse.

15) Afraid your patient might wander off? Put their name on it, room number and attach to gown.

16) Cheap shoulder immobilizer.

17) Confused grandaa will never pull out her IV again.

18) Tape your nostrils together for that smelly clean up

19) Cheap eye patch.

20) Help reset dislocations.

your ideas?

33 addresses for same person

Oh the innovative mind of the average drug seeker. If they put half the effort they put into getting narcotics into actually working or doing something with their life, they would be very successful and rich.

Witness: Drug seeker presents. Doctor looks drug seeker up on state prescription narcotic tracking system. Doctor sees that drug seekee has scored 33 prescriptions in last couple of months using different addresses. The thing is they use their name every time. 10 demerits for that.

I think the person who came up with the idea of doing this tracking deserves a monument on the capital mall. It is truly the best thing that has ever happened to ER medicine.

I kid you not

Yes I kid you not. A man comes up to the triage desk and says:

"I need my stitches out and a clean pair of underwear and socks..."

No problem sir, let me go to the ER underwear drawer..