I am the triage princess

Strange things happen when I am at the triage desk window. Its like I become something to be honored or revered...

People will kneel at the triage window and I have to assume it is in my honor, or that they are saying a little prayer for me.

This happens even more often: People will lean through the window and bow their heads. Stop it guys..you are embarassing me..

There are times when people will actually LAY in front of the triage window, prostating themselves before me. I quickly tell them to get up, that that kind of behavior is not necessary..

Sometimes this last one will take place WHILE I am triaging someone. They will sometimes kind of begin to "wilt", slipping to the floor as if they can't stay upright in my presence..

I know I am special, but this is ridiculous.

BADA BING.

memo to drug seekers

Dear drug seekers:

The following are drug seeker presentations that we see on a daily basis. In other words, don't bother...you need to be a lot more original.

1) "I lost/they were stolen/I forgot..". You lost your prescription, bottle of pain pills. You forgot them at your home 150 miles from here. Some dastardly dude stole your pain pills while you were napping.
2) "I am allergic to ibuprofen, tylenol, toradol, darvocet, ultram..." The only thing that works for you is that magic percocet.
3) "I can't get into my doctor until next week". That unempathetic doctor doesn't care about you.
4) "I used to have (back, neck, foot, etc) pain years ago and now it is flaring up so I don't have a doctor anymore".
5) "I am out in the car and I need help (probably a stetcher) because I am in so much pain". (Somehow I got into the car at home...)
6) "Let me get on my knees or lay down in triage to show you how much pain I am in".
7) "Let me be as polite as I can and call you yes maam and maybe you will think I am a nice guy" and not a drug seeker.
8) "I am so terribly sorry to bother you at all, I know you are so busy, but I couldn't stand it anymore".
9) "I just moved here from (fill in city) and don't have a doctor here/left all my pain meds back in (fill in city)".
10) "I went to (fill in ER) and they didn't do anything for me".
11) I have surgery scheduled at (fill in hospital) next week and I need something to tide me over til then".
12) "I am not looking for narcotics".
13) "Is Dr so and so working? He was so nice last time I was here".

urban warfare

Here's the thing about working in the ER #2:

1) The day after I work 2-3 days in a row, is a recovery day. It is still on my mind. I am still a little hyped up. I am dead tired. In other words, nothing much will be accomplished on this day. This is the "coming down" day.

2) The day before I have to go back to work I am starting to think about work and kind of dread it, especially if I have to work a couple of days in a row. Life is so peaceful away from work. That peace is over. This is the "calm before the storm" day.

As I approach work in the car, I feel myself ramping up, steeling myself for the day ahead which will bring who knows what? This is the "preparing for urban warfare" time.

'Cause some days it really is kind of like a war zone.

Nurses are human too

Here's the thing about working in the ER:

1) It is hard to remember that even though we may think they are complete and total idiots, the people who come into the ER think they are having a crisis. For them its a crisis. To us, it is an idiotic reason to come and a waste of our time, but to them its something they felt they needed immediate help with.

2) The majority of people who come to the ER do not need to be there. However, they are going to keep coming. They ain't going away. Many are on medical assitance or don't have insurance and they think it is normal to run to the ER at a drop of a hat. Unfortunately, these are the people we take care of and will continue to take care of.

3) The frustration and anger that all of the ER staff feel about the following won't change. ITs around this: In room 1 you have someone who is dying or just died and the family is grief stricken about the unexpected loss. In room 2 you have someone who came by ambulance who has a sore throat who wants footies, a warm blanket and some juice. Trying to reconcile in you mind how to deal with this kind of situation makes you bang your head against the wall. Its not possible. It is normality in the ER.

My conclusion? You would probably think it is that I can accept this is the way it is and just do the best I can.

WRONG

I can intellectually tell you that I understand all of this. Here's the thing: I am a human being. The human part of me continues to fight all of this. I could work in the ER for 50 years and it still would piss me off.

you so trashy

I can't stand it. I am about to lose the little mind that I have left. The hospital is going to drive me completely crazy. Why? The waste disposal system has become a frickin' nightmare. There are seven different ways you can dispose of trash. Seven different containers. You are expected to remember which container everything goes in.

We're talking putting IV bags in zip lock bags and throwing them in black containers. Is your chux fully saturated or partially saturated with blood, it makes a difference where it goes. Putting drugs down sewers. Syringes with needles with part of the drug still there goes into something called the dual sharp container. There are 15 drugs that are hazardous and by penalty of death need to go into the black can.

I think the waste containers are having babies. Every year there seem to be more of them. Pretty soon they are going to take over the hospital.

Me, I think we need a trash coordinator. You set up a room where they sit. You present them with your trash and they put it in the proper receptacle.

I propose this person also be a part time commode locator. Apparently, per those rocket scientists at JCAHO, commodes can no long be kept in the soiled utility room. Why not? Commodes are considered "clean" so they can't be kept in a "dirty" environment. Okay...so now we have to find different places to put them around the department.

This, my friends, is the modern healthcare system. We spend more time locating trash cans and commodes then we do taking care of patients.