ha ha

I was jumped

One of my favorite triage presentations:  " I was jumped''.  Whats funny about it is that the person is usually jumped by someone they didn't know.  They were walking around and somebody just randomly attacked them.

Oftentimes the person will say, "I don't know if they thought I was someone else or what".  This seems to happen to women a lot.  Other women just randomly jumping them.

I just find it amusing, all this random jumping....

grrrrrrrr.....

I can't believe how much the nurse in this cartoon resembles me...

25 uses for duct tape in the ER

1)IV pole broke: Tape the IV bag to any nearby surface: the monitor, the wall, the patients relative, etc.

2) Demented Donald trying to get out of bed? Duct tape will keep him in bed.

3) Duct tape that irritating drunks mouth shut.

4) No security available to watch your suicidal patient? Duct tape will keeep them in bed and SAFE.

4) Out of arm slings? Fashion one out of a piece of cardboard and tape.

5) Patient hairy and need to put him on the monitor? Duct tape will remove that hair for lead placement.

6) Backboards all in use? Take the sliding board, some rolled towels and tape and fashion your own version of spine stablization.

7) Duct tape your manager to a chair.

8) Low on suture or staples: A quick and easy laceration repair.

9) Tape patients gown together for trip to bathroom.

10) Out of adult diapers: use towel and duct tape substitute.

11) Tape NG, ET tube, foley in place.

12) Tape patients wig or toupee in place.

13) Never lose it again: tape you pen, scissors, roll of tape, stethoscope to yourself.

14) Make letters RN on uniform so patients will know you are their nurse. You know how everybody gets confused...

15) Afraid your patient might wander off? Put their name on it, room number and attach to gown.

16) Cheap shoulder immobilizer.

17) Confused grandma will never pull out her IV again.

18) Tape your nostrils together for that smelly clean up

19) Cheap eye patch.

20)  Patient has hyperactive kid that keeps running around.  Tape to wall (see picture).

21) Duct tape educator to chair - no more of those irritating online quarterly education classes.

22) Patient keeps coughing in your face, won't cover their mouth - use as a mask.  Hey relax...they can still breathe out of their nose...

23) Doctor order an enema?  Duct tape them out at the triage window.

24)  Never get lunch? Tape a snack to yourself.  Tape a water bottle to yourself.

25) Tape the ER entrance shut when you get too busy.

Your thoughts?

I work in a hazadous waste dump

There are days I feel like I work in a hazardous waste dump.  A hazardous human waste dump.  Sometimes what we do is so gross.  It is gross to the point where I have to wear a mask with vaseline smeared in it in order to avoid vomiting.  Those are the times when I think: Why the hell do I do a job such as this?  I mean...seriously...am I insane?   Am I some kind of masochist?

These are the times when I think: THEY DO NOT PAY ME ENOUGH.  We should be making triple what we do. If the public saw what we really deal with on a regular basis they would be shocked:
Every disgusting thing that comes out of the human body has to be cleaned up by somebody and that person is a nurse.

From the smell of c diff to GI bleed to homeless feet to beer and cigarettes, we deal with it.  Day after day.  j

The worst thingl I ever smelled was burning flesh.  A doctor decided to removed some kind of skin growths in our ER (totally inappropriate).

Sorry this is a digusting blog entry, but it is the reality of what we do and Lord knows I'm all about being real. ...

Here's a question for you: What do you use to get rid of bad smells?  We use coffee grounds.