questions that deserve answers

Questions asked of the ER staff:

1) By phone: do you do c-sections in the ER? I'm tired of carrying this baby... (I hear ya sista)
2) To triage staff: can you borrow me $20? My car broke down a couple of blocks from here - I promise I'll bring it back...(sure...let me go get my purse)
3) Can you give me a ride to my car that I left in the parking lot about a mile from here? (no problem let me go get the ER van..)
4) On the way out: Have you got any condoms? (oh how I wish we did)
5) by phone: is doctor so and so working tonight? (he was fired yesterday..)
6) How many milligrams of Dilaudid or Morphine did you give me? (98)
7) Can I see: Jane, John, Mary, Sue? No I don't know their last name. I just met them an hour ago. (Isn't it nice how you make friends so easily...)
8) Do I have time to go to McDonalds before you call me? (of course, hey will you get me a blizzard while your there?)
9) Can I have a warm blanket, food, footies, a cab voucher, a bus token, a soda, some coffee? (you can have all that and more...let me get the ER conciere)
10) What's that smell? (ha....haha....hahahahaha...)