don't get drunk off your ass on an airplane please

Here is a piece of advice to those traveling by air both domestically and internationally: Don't get your drink on too heavily while flying through the skies. You may end up in a city you don't want to be in.

We get a lot of people from the airport. For various reasons. People faint during the flight. Arrest during the flight. Get drunk during the flight. Go crazy during the flight. I have a new found respect for flight attendants who have to deal with all this junk.

The drunks must be the worst. Somebody gets drunk and out of control or passes out and they have to divert to get this fool off. A whole plane full of people have to be inconvenienced because you are an idiot or an alcoholic. Some poor medic has to drag your butt off and pour you onto a stretcher. Of course where they gonna bring you? Where elese? The ER. My ER. Where you will run up a bill of a couple of thousand because we have to make sure you are ok.

Then there is the problem of what to do with your sorry ass. We have to sober you up. We just love to do that. Then there is the problem of getting you back to the airport and back on a plane. You know what is particularly fun? When you come from another country and don't speak english. The nurse has to make arrangements for your flight and all the rest of the shit you need. We have to call an interpeter. And the thing is you are not even a citizen of this country.

Morale of the story: Keep your drinking to a minimum at 40,000 feet. We don't want to deal with the results of your idiocy. Too bad we can't throw your ass in jail.