Tuesday, January 03, 2012

dear doctor: you know where you can put your banana bag?

You know what I hate? Banana bags. They are a stupid waste of my time. I mean really...we are concerned about a drunks nutritional deficiencies? Like this bag is gonna make all the difference..OK. And I'm sure this bag will prevent the dreaded Werners encephalopathy (I've been a nurse for a loooong time and I have never seen it) every alcoholic fears. Right. So let me go into that room with the piss soaked drunk and fight him for an IV. I live for this shit.

Please don't come into the ER if you fell off the wagon. Please don't come into the ER saying you have "alcohol poising". Your symptoms are that of a withdrawing drunk. Don't bring your relative in for treatment. Maybe you didn't hear, we don't do treatment in the ER. We will send you right back out the door with a phone number. Don't come in if you are hungover. I will probably have to miss the IV a couple of times and put in a #14 for your foolishness.

It is a lot easier to deal with a street drunk than it is with someone who still has a home and a family. The street drunk knows what they are and accepts it. They don't play stupid games.
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2 comments:

  1. Nurse K5:31 PM

    Banana bags suck ass. Unless you're in DTs in the ICU or something, it's not appropriate. Obviously if they're shithoused, they can take PO, so how's about a 50-cent folic acid and PO 50-cent thiamine and a kick in the ass if you're so concerned?

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  2. Brian9:56 AM

    I've not seen banana bags ordered very usefully up here in critical care either. We supplement just fine with PO vitamins, at least for the first couple of days before they really start DT-ing it up. And after that point, thiamine is not exactly the highest priority, compared to the benzos, anticonvulsants, and antipsychotics.

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