Saturday, April 07, 2012

Letters to the Editor

Dear Madness the nurse (AKA Girlvet):

I don't understand why you continue to be an ER nurse. You seem to hate everything about it: the patients, the management, etc. I'm sure that your hateful attitude is reflected in your care. I think you should quit for everybodys sake.

Sincerely,

Persephone Patterson

My dear Persephone:

You are right. I hate my job. I hate the patients, the doctors, the management, even my co-workers. At this point, I am only staying with the job to punish people who have done me wrong (i.e. the people already mentioned).

Yours always,

Madness

***
Dear Madness the Nurse (AKA Girlvet):

How do you deal with all the disgusting things that come out of humans: poop, pee, snot, vomit? Its so gross..

Sincerely,

Peter Patterson

You silly boy Peter,

To deal with it, I push it off on my co-workers, usually techs, who are after all, "under the direct supervision of a registered nurse" and therefore, I rule their world. 'Nuff said.

Hasta la vista

Madness

***

Dear "Madness" the nurse (AKA "Girlvet"):

Is this blog real? Some of the stuff seems proposterous. I mean really, no job is this bad. Come clean, who are you really?

Sincerely,

Philomena Patterson

Dear "Philomena",

"Philomena"? Who names their kid "Philomena"?

Anyway, "Philomena", okay ya got me. My wife, Gladys, works as a housekeeper in an ER. Every night I have a Bud light ready for her and she sits down in the lazy boy and regales me with stories until she passes out from one too many Buds. Then I go to the computer and take on my "Madness the nurse/AKA Girvet" persona. As Madness I am a cranky, cynical, old bitch who's been an ER nurse way too long. I'm burnt to a crisp. I think that unless your arm is hanging by a thread, you ain't an emergency. Eerily, its almost like I have become Madness. Gladys doesn't know about this little side activity of mine. Don't tell her. Its our secret...

Don't take any wooden nickels,

Madness

9 comments:

  1. Perhaps a tangent but the email from "Persephone" got me thinking about what appears to be a commonly held but I think incorrect belief that you have to love your job to do it well.

    I constantly hear this sentiment in the form of the frequent pseudo complementary remark "You must love your job, you do it so well".

    While I would love to scream "Hah! Fooled you, I hate my job!" I have to admit that for the most part my better angels mostly win the day and I say nothing. Most of the time anyway.

    But just why does anyone think one has to love a job to do it well?

    In my case love's got nothing to do with it, but professional standards and personal pride sure as hell do. To do anything other than my best regardless of my own person likes or dislikes is unthinkable.

    In fact from my experience loving one's job is no guarantee that you do it well. I have observed on far to many occasions quite the opposite. I know several people who "Love their jobs" but do them poorly. I suppose loving your job might be an easy claim to make when as is the case in this example they rarely actually do it.

    Ultimately I do have to wonder though that given how well some people do their jobs despite loathing them, what exactly could they accomplish if they had a job they actually liked?

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  2. You know whats weird, as nurses we don't think it is normal and okay to not like being abused, etc. We tell ourselves that the person is stressed, etc. Its riduculous.

    We are always feeling guilty for not liking many aspects of a job that in many ways is a shitty job. Its all part of the codependent personality that is attracted to nursing.

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  4. Anonymous8:37 AM

    I am a new ER nurse just 8 months. I totally get your blog some days I absolutely love the ER and sometimes I think how the hell did I get here and why do I stay (3 others that started with me just left) but it seems to be the consensus amoung the ER nurses I admire most, It's definitely a love hate (sometimes sadomasocistic) relationship. Some days are hell on earth (like the other day when I literally did have an arm hanging off along with most of the rest her, my very first Major Trauma mostly by myself cause we were so crazy busy only one other nurse could even help me hang blood. But yesterday I had mostly lovely patients who were actually sick and got out on time. I think it takes both love and hate to work in the ER and that's what makes good ER nurses because you have to have some toughness and hate to take care of a 25 yo trauma who doesn't make it anyway and move on to the little old confused lady and the young parents with a teething baby its what makes the ER go around! :)

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  5. true that anonymous

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  6. Anonymous10:17 PM

    Happy Easter

    Madness,You are so worth this blog to the moon and back!

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  7. anonymous new ER nurse...i think you hit the nail on the head!

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  8. Good information is a nice blog

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