Letters to the Editor

Dear Madness the nurse (AKA Girlvet):

I don't understand why you continue to be an ER nurse. You seem to hate everything about it: the patients, the management, etc. I'm sure that your hateful attitude is reflected in your care. I think you should quit for everybodys sake.

Sincerely,

Persephone Patterson

My dear Persephone:

You are right. I hate my job. I hate the patients, the doctors, the management, even my co-workers. At this point, I am only staying with the job to punish people who have done me wrong (i.e. the people already mentioned).

Yours always,

Madness

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Dear Madness the Nurse (AKA Girlvet):

How do you deal with all the disgusting things that come out of humans: poop, pee, snot, vomit? Its so gross..

Sincerely,

Peter Patterson

You silly boy Peter,

To deal with it, I push it off on my co-workers, usually techs, who are after all, "under the direct supervision of a registered nurse" and therefore, I rule their world. 'Nuff said.

Hasta la vista

Madness

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Dear "Madness" the nurse (AKA "Girlvet"):

Is this blog real? Some of the stuff seems proposterous. I mean really, no job is this bad. Come clean, who are you really?

Sincerely,

Philomena Patterson

Dear "Philomena",

"Philomena"? Who names their kid "Philomena"?

Anyway, "Philomena", okay ya got me. My wife, Gladys, works as a housekeeper in an ER. Every night I have a Bud light ready for her and she sits down in the lazy boy and regales me with stories until she passes out from one too many Buds. Then I go to the computer and take on my "Madness the nurse/AKA Girvet" persona. As Madness I am a cranky, cynical, old bitch who's been an ER nurse way too long. I'm burnt to a crisp. I think that unless your arm is hanging by a thread, you ain't an emergency. Eerily, its almost like I have become Madness. Gladys doesn't know about this little side activity of mine. Don't tell her. Its our secret...

Don't take any wooden nickels,

Madness