I like to keep you up to up to date on the general idiocy of the human race..
Heard of these bizarre things teenagers are doing today?
1) vodka eyeball shots - Apparently you put a bottle of vodka up to your eyeball and pour it in. The eyeball is very vascular so it is absorbed quicky. Is this real? I mean sounds like it would be painful and very damaging to the eye, along with being dumbshit.
2) vodka soaked tampons - Thats right you soak a tampon in vodka and insert it you know where. Again, vascular, quick absorbtion. Seems like this would be messy and you would be dumb as a rock
3) Gummy bear soaked vodka - Nobody will know (aren't you clever...) that those gummy bears you're popping are soaked in booze. Wow...you and your friends are so co..mpletely void of intellect.
I have yet to see any of this in the ER. Most bizarre thing I have seen: someone smoking embalming fluid soaked marijuana...another rocket scientist.
You see, back in cave man days, the guys that did the super crazy stuff died or got eaten by the neighborhood saber toothed tiger. Today, we fix em up in the ER and let them go off and reproduce. Explains a lot, don't ya think?
ReplyDelete#2 has been proven false -- a reporter from Huffington Post (maybe?) made the effort to take one for the team. It was terribly painful and rather ineffective.
ReplyDelete#1 also sounds like it'd be BS. Yeah, the eye is pretty vascular, but there's still a lot of alcohol it'd have to absorb, and yeah, it'd have to hurt like hell just to try.
#3 sounds good to me! Like jello shots, only gummier!
UGH...I do have to tell you, though, that my wife and I are hosting a dinner party next week and gummy bear martinis are on the menu! The infused tampons didn't make the final cut, though! LOL
ReplyDeleteFunny post.
I saw the nasty gummy bears at a party recently. It's pretty obvious that they have been messed with as the gummy starts to dissolve and gets super disgusting looking as it melts.
ReplyDeleteRead elsewhere that "rummy bears" should only soak for an hour or two ... might be a bit amusing
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ReplyDeleteI had a bath salts case the other day. It was strange...
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