Monday, August 27, 2012

the moron list

Dear Mr/Mrs John/Jane Q. Public:

******A HANGOVER IS NOT AN EMERGENCY*****

REPEAT

******A HANGOVER IS NOT AN EMERGENCY*****

Your tummy upset is not our problem. I don't care if you literally puke your guts out. Do not come to your local emergency room. If you do, here is what will happen:

We will talk about you. The staff will talk amongst themselves about what an idiot you are.

If you take an ambulance into the ER for this you will go to the top of the moron list that we keep in a drawer in triage.

*****THAT IS ALL*****

Go about your business. Nothing to see here.

2 comments:

  1. Rain236:25 PM

    Guy the other day met Sumdood lookin' 20 years younger than stated age. He asked the guy how he stayed so buff and the guy replied "daily one-hour workouts and a complete colon cleanse once a month." Our hero goes to local health food store and purchases a rapid-acting colon cleanser.

    Chief complaint: "Real bad diarrhea won't stop."

    Disposition: To home with adult diapers and magazine to allow self-prescribed treatment to take its course.

    Mag citrate and senna powder mixed with fruit juice. Next time at least Google it, for goodness sake.

    ReplyDelete