excuse me....uh...fuck good samaritans

I hate good samaritans.  Why?  They feel the need to call 911 when they see a drunk sitting or laying on the sidewalk.

Dear good samaritans:

I hate to break this to you but drunks live on the sidewalk.  When they are too drunk to stand they sit down or lay down, often going to sleep.  They aren't hurting anybody.  I know they are unsightly.  Not something you want to see in your pristine city, but they are a fact of life.  So leave them alone to sleep it off.

Sincerely

Madness the nurse
on behalf of all ER nurses everywhere

You see Mr/Ms good samaritan, when you call 911 the medics are obligated to take them to the emergency room. They don't have a choice.  They can't leave them sitting there.  They bring them directly to us, your neighborhood ER.  When you are sitting there with elderly mom and hear that person shouting: "FUCK YOU! GET AWAY FROM ME!!" that is the drunk you called 911 about in all their glory.  Here's the thing that yelling is not going to end anytime soon.  It will continue sometimes for hours.  So sit back and enjoy the fruits of your good samaritan efforts.  Its only right you share in the experience.

No doubt that drunk has peed all over themselves. Yup thats them throwing food into the hall as you pass by. Just missed you huh? Uh oh...they took off their clothes...darn it...you didn't need to see that.  Here's the thing, detox is full.  They will have a starring role in the ER all night til they stumble out in the early morning light down to the street to beg for a few quarters for thier next bottle of listerine.