just kill me now

I am in the room with the PA listening to him assess the patient.

Let me set the stage: The patient is sitting on the edge of bed facing toward the wall.  The PA is leaning against the wall facing him.  I am leaning against the opposite wall in back of the patient.

The PA starts asking questions.  About one minute in, it happens.  An involuntary eye roll.   I mean honestly I couldn't help it. It happened without conscious thought. It was one of those "You have go to be kidding me?!  WTF?" moments that we have a hundred times a day in the ER.

Over the years, I have learned to school my emotions. I work in triage a lot, where you have to keep a straight face no matter what:  You put what where? Okay have a seat (or maybe you should stand) in the waiting room...  Little green men chasing you?  Next...

Here's the thing: There are just some people who live in an alternate universe and have no concept of the words: TOO MUCH INFORMATION.  DO NOT GO THERE. WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW. WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE DETAILS OF YOUR WEIRD, GROSS LIFE. STOP BEFORE I BURST INTO FLAMES! The kind of people who make you want to shoot yourself.

I have never burst into flames.  I have been able to put a kabosh on the situation and am really good at redirecting the nature of the conversation.  Either that or I make a hasty exit, making some kind of excuse like: I'll be back.  Then I don't go back.

The INVOLUNTARY EYE ROLL hasn't happened many times but there are times when things get so bazaar that my subconscious seizes up and reacts for me.. Its that or I yell: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!