You can't move anything. Well maybe your eyeballs. A machine breathes for you. You can't talk. You are vulnerable and alone inside this body that doesn't work anymore. You used to run and laugh and frown and smile. Now you can do none of that. And the thing is you are a baby, as far as adults go.
This is your life now. Completely dependent on others. You must hope those who care for you are having a good day. You are one of the lucky ones, not in a nursing home. I wonder what your life is like. I wonder if you enjoy it. I wonder what you think about all of this.
I have thought of you since that day. Wondering about you. Thinking you didn't deserve this. Once you were a kid full of hope and joy. Then you grew up and drifted toward people who made you feel like they were your family. Then you caught a bullet and here you lie. I wonder what you could have been.
"Hey madness, the guy in bed 3 with the stubbed toe said he needs something for pain."
This one brought me to tears. So much waste in this battleground of inner cities.
ReplyDeleteWe have a guy on our unit with locked in syndrome - I often wonder what it's like to be him and have this happen - especially since he was so active before the incident. I couldn't imagine being in a body and not be able to describe what's wrong - like wanting to change position, having pain, etc... And always being dependent on others, for even the smallest of things. Goodness I would hate that!
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