which ER supplies the softest, most cuddly and toasty warm blankie?

I'm thinking about starting a new local ER website. As a service to humanity.

On this site would be listings of every ER in the city and the waiting times on their websites. Listed in order of least waiting time to most. Length of typical visit.

In the interest of serving the community, there would be a list of whether the ER has:

1) box or bag lunches and their contents and rotation
2) types of (cold, icy) juice and selection of crackers
3) whether they supply warm, cuddly, toasty blankets.
4) footie availability and color selection
5) whether they have TV (with HDTV cable or DVD availibility)
6) probability of getting a cab voucher or bus token
7) probability of you scoring a script for percocet
8) probability of you taking an ambulance in for a sore throat and getting back to a room versus being put in the lobby
9) comfort of chairs in lobby and presence of TV, fish tank, vending machines (quality of snacks, selection of sodas), play area
10) whether your car can be valet parked on arrival

There would be a comment section in which you could name names about which docs at which ERs were Dr Feelgoods.

Oh the fun that could be had! The comments section could be entertaining in and of itself.

Hey...its a competitive world out there and patient satisfaction is the goal of every single solitary person in the ER, including of course, yours truly, thus