You know what sucks? Sitting outside a room at the nurses desk hearing the thumping of the "lucas" automated chest compression machine. Someone in there is dead. They were dead before they got here. They aren't coming back. The machine thumps on.
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You know, sitting there, that when things have gone on this long with no return of pulse its over. It is almost obligatory to continue the code going for a while. Especially when the spouse chooses to be in the room. Especially when the person is only in their 50's. Too young to die.
So it goes on, med after med is given. Nothing changes. It gets to the point where you just want it to stop. The thump, thump, thump. Its painful to hear after awhile. Knowing what is coming. The stopping. The doctor sitting down next to the spouse and telling them its time to stop.
The anguished cry. The weeping. The rest of the family arriving. The young adult children stunned and wailing. Thinking about that could be you, laying there, or bent over your now loved ones dead body.
Those could be your stunned children. You don't know them, but you feel like crying about their loss.
Wondering how they will go forward. Thinking about yesterday they were alive and today they are dead. How do you deal with that?