hell week highlights

Hell week is done. I survived. Barely.  Today I am a zombie. Everything is sore. I will sit on the couch, starting and drooling most of the day.

Highlights of the week:

1) Afore mentioned Mr. sore throat and "fiance" go down the street from our ER and call 911 fiasco.
2) Angry perfectly normal woman who wanted another nurse because I wouldn't enthusiastically remove her shoes for her.
3) Idiotic PA order #345 - Put foley  in trauma patient who had "blood or something" in bladder by ultrasound. Ah, I don't think so....
4) Round one of the decreased reimbursement "we are going to have to tighten our belts" emails.
5) Idiotic PA order #453:  Do MRI.  No don't do MRI.  Do MRI..
6) Patient presenting with insomnia complaint.
7) Psych patient you had day before still there next day  because of lack of psych beds.
8) Sauna bath atmosphere ER when temperature outside goes above 50 outside.
9) Incident # 789 of non english speaking immigrant presenting to triage desk asking for someone admitted to hospital  but only knows first name.
10) Detox is closed.

man candy saturday two-fer

Mr. sore throat and his "fiance" visit the ER

I really am sorry sir, I know your earache hurts but I'm afraid you and your "fiance" are going to have to have a seat in the lobby. Alas, there are no beds to be had. I know this is upsetting, but the other people in the lobby are just as upset  as you are..

Ms fiance, no we still don't have any rooms available. I see you are upset. Other people have gone ahead of your future husband? Oh you mean that 90 year guy with shortness of breath? Yes, I'm afraid he had to go ahead of you...

Oh sir you are back again...I have already explained the triage process a couple of times...Your agitated movements and yelling are not going to help. Exit, stage left, back to waiting room..

What is this, Mr sore throat is now shouting and swearing in the waiting room. security called.  Oh what's this, Mr sore throat is headed out the door?  Oh no. Here comes security.  The group heads out the ER door where a long conversation ensues between Mr sore throat and "fiance".  At one point, "fiance" takes a swing at security.

Off they go, Mr sore throat and his "fiance" down the street about a block where they call 911 for an ambulance. When the ambulance arrives and puts Mr. sore throat in the back, the medics say they are going to take them down to the county hospital, Mr. sore throat gets out of the ambulance and refuses to go.

Oh my.....what will become of Mr. sore throat and his "fiance"?

we're a tough group

Any ER staff is a tough group.  We have to be to work in the environment we work in. You have to be calm under stress. You have to be good at multi-tasking.  You have to be dependable and know your stuff. I have to be able to depend on you to help me when we have that train wreck,

When you are new to the ER, whatever role you are in, everybody is watching you. We are watching to see how fast you pick things up. How are you in a critical situation? Can we depend on you to do what you have to do?

Everybody has a role in a critical situation from the HUC to the EMT to the nurse to the doc. When the shit hits the fan, you have to be able to function. That isn't a time for asking questions.

If you don't learn to function really quickly, you will pay the price. You will be labelled.. Its not fair maybe, but it happens. We have big expectations of you and you aren't meeting them. We can't depend on you. We will eat you alive, unfortunately.

I've seen it happen. Its tough to see. I've seen people leave. We may seem like a bunch of meanies but not really. We deal with life and death sometimes. Things have to be done rapidly and correctly. Lives can depend on it. Unfortunately, the ER isn't for everybody.

You might be thinking: Oh woo hoo, you think you are a big time ER nurse, la la la. Yeah true (har har). Hey I'm proud of myself. However I know that there are nurses in many specialties that are excellent. Everybody just has to find their niche.

the batshit crazy club

After many years in the ER, I have developed certain talents. I would say one that I have perfected is the ability to keep a straight face. You could tell me that you have are growing a second head or have a tuba up your behind, and I would tell you "okay, have a seat in the waiting room,  There is little that you could tell me that would stun me. Heard it all, seen it all.

With that in mind, may I say that there are many bat shit crazy, freak-deaky people in this world,and eventually, they make their way down to the emergency room. I had one a couple of months ago. This dude seemed to be making a game out of how far he could go with all these bizarre facts about himself and his life. I'm not even going to get into it here because it is just too weird.

I thought what is this guy getting out of this? Telling me all this weird shit. Is he doing it for attention? For effect? Is he trying to freak me out? All I thought about him was that he was a fucking nut. I avoided him as much as I could.

I didn't discharge him, the charge nurse did. She said to me she hadn't know he couldn't hear. I said, couldn't hear? The man had been talking to me and hearing me just fine. It turns out when she went in to do the discharge, he starting using sign language like he couldn't hear. Bat shit crazy, just like I said. This world is a crazy place. There are more lunatics than you realiz