yup

man candy saturday - ode to the NHL playoffs

naughty things ER nurses do

I put a picture on here of the " most interesting man in the world" with the words: I don't always give kayexalate but when I do its right after I call report to the floor.

I thought you might like to know some other naughty things ER nurses do

1) aforementioned Kayexalate. Ditto: lactulose.

2) Give lasix to that little old lady who is too weak to get up and has to get on the bed pan.  Oh...my...when did that lasix order appear?  Oh, let me give it before transport comes...

3) Wait until the detox van/ambulance to tell the patient they are going to detox.

4) Wait until the mental health staff is on their way down to tell that unhappy patient they are being placed on a 72 hour hold.

5) Try to talk the doctor into a barium enema for that fecal impaction.

6) Tell that annoying family member who has called twenty times that there is no point coming to the emergency because the patient will be going up soon. Give them the station number.

7) Try to get the doctor to order an inpatient bed for that mean patient as soon as possible.

8) Fudge the breathylyzer results for detox requirement of <.3

9) Say we don't know how long the wait will be.

10) Say the doctor will be in "shortly".  Say the bed will be ready "shortly".

Yes we can be evil.

the truth hurts

yes I am a wicked bitch

There are people out there in bloggerland that think madness is a cynic, a real bitch. I don't
give those drug seekers the benefit of the doubt and all that. I am a hard, burned out old witch of a nurse....that goes without sayin', but in my defense...I have been in the ER for many a year. My job is similar to a cops, only I have to keep my mouth shut. The cop can tell your sorry ass to shut the f--- up, I can't. I could but I would lose my job. Need the job, so don't. Cops have guns, madness don'. But we do deal with all the same people. From one end of the spectrum to another.

So excuse me if I have developed just a little bit of suspicion, caution,  gotta prove you ain't one of those drug seeking' idiots attitude. I, along with many of my nurse pals, have been burned. Big.

What folks don't understand about drug seekers is that they are ADDICTS. They will do anything to get the fix. They will lie, fake, tell whopping stories...they are really pretty dangerous people. I have seen them get out of control when they don't get what they want. Suddenly that back pain is out the window and they are fighting security on the floor.

I have seen drug seekers tell MAJOR stories that we all believed. What they are willing to do for the fix would floor you. So check your attitude about me not caring, giving the benefit of the doubt, etc. I have big time intuition about people. I can spot a faker at 50 paces with 99.9% accuracy. Whether you like it or not.

They waste my time, your money. (yeah, thats right mr/mrs taxpayer your money - you don't think THEY are paying do ya?)Picture this scenario: your mom is having a heart attack and you bring her to us. I can't help her right away because I am down the hall dealing with the out of control drug seeker....thats my job in a nutshell.