Monday, June 11, 2012
Isaac would be proud
I never took a physics class, but I think the basic laws of physics can be applied to the ER...
NEWTONS'S LAW #1:
AN OBJECT AT REST WILL REMAIN AT REST UNLESS ACTED ON BY AN UNBALANCED FORCE. AN OBJECT IN
MOTION CONTINUES IN MOTION WITH THE SAME SPEED AND IN THE SAME DIRECTION UNLESS ACTED UPON BY
AN UNBALANCED FORCE.
APPLIED TO ER:
A nurse sittin' at the desk to take a breather is ectastic until some moron comes to the triage desk, puts on the call light, calls on the phone.
Once the shit hits the fan, it will keep hitting the fan til the end of the shift, unless the world comes to an end.
NEWTON'S LAW #2
ACCELERATION IS PRODUCED WHEN A FORCE ACTS ON A MASS. THE GREATER THE MASS (OF THE OBJECT
BEING ACCELERATED) THE GREATER THE AMOUNT OF FORCE NEEDED (TO ACCELERATE THE OBJECT).
APPLIED TO ER:
A nurse tries to call report on a patient. The floor resists saying the nurse is busy, at lunch, just discharged a patient. The nurse must get irate, state the patient is ready to call the administration, call the nursing supervisor to get the report called and the patient upstairs.
NEWTON'S LAW #3:
FOR EVERY ACTION THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE RE-ACTION
WHEN APPLIED TO ER:
When a nurse employs the above tactics to get a patient upstairs, the inpatient nurse calls back to say that, oh yeah, the bed is being cleaned.
Here is a madness rule of the emergency room:
PATIENT/SERIOUSNESS OF ILLNESS = NICENESS OF PATIENT
Posted by girlvet at 11:37 PM