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Sunday, July 20, 2014

Which ER supplies the softest, most cuddliest and toasty warm blankie?


I'm thinking about starting a new local ER website. As a service to humanity.

On this site would be listings of every ER in the city and the waiting times on their websites. Listed in order of least waiting time to most. Length of typical visit.

In the interest of serving the community, there would be a list of whether the ER has:

1) box or bag lunches and their contents and rotation
2) types of (cold, icy) juice and selection of crackers
3) whether they supply warm, cuddly, toasty blankets.
4) footie availability and color selection
5) whether they have TV (with HDTV cable or DVD availibility)
6) probability of getting a cab voucher or bus token
7) probability of you scoring a script for percocet
8) probability of you taking an ambulance in for a sore throat and getting back to a room versus being put in the lobby
9) comfort of chairs in lobby and presence of TV, fish tank, vending machines (quality of snacks, selection of sodas), play area
10) whether your car can be valet parked on arrival

There would be a comment section in which you could name names about which docs at which ERs were Dr Feelgoods.

Oh the fun that could be had! The comments section could be entertaining in and of itself.

Hey...its a competitive world out there and patient satisfaction is the goal of every single solitary person in the ER, including of course, yours truly, thus the web site... 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

ooh!ooh and whether they'll send you to patient relations to get some free coupons and sh*t if your every whim is not indulged. I would totally use this service... to determine where NOT to work.

Anonymous said...

Lace the blankets with itching powder - that will warm even the coldest skin. Who turned health care in to a lukewarm corporate fuelled bullshit circus anyway? I'm sure there was a time when people were grateful for care recieved instead of abject consumers with a me mine and now attitude.

girlvet said...

Ohhhh!!! I forgot the coupons for the unhappy campers!

pineapple rn said...

We have patients that call the patient services rep on their way in in the ambulance!! Reserving their blow jobs in advance!