Tuesday, September 15, 2015

ER daily work checklist

1) Check to see who I am working with an whether or not I can stand them

2) Walk past triage and see if there are any patients on carts in the hallway.  Yes - day just went to shit.   No - day won't go to shit til later.

3) Go to assignment area. Are there any drunks sleeping it off?  Prepare "heave ho" speech in head.

4) Are there any psych patients we are boarding?  Retrieve ear plugs for inevitable episode of agitation and scream fest later in shift.

5) Do I hate the doctor I am working with? Is it "order every test so I can bump up level of care and put money toward that boat I have my eye on" Dr. ? Retrieve flask from locker.

6) Am I the stabilization room nurse?  Psych self up for inevitable 99 year grandpa cardiac arrest that is not a DNR.

7) Are there no beds in the hospital? Prepare "I'm sorry you have to wait...." speech.

8) Fill pockets with snacks knowing your break will be hours from now as usual.

9) Gather mask with Vaseline for bad smells, ear plugs for screaming,  wipes for the bottoms of your shoes, extra pair of scrubs because you never know.....

10) Let the games's first contestant is a guy covered in shit who laid on the floor all night with decreased loc who reeks of booze....