patience may be a virtue but I never was virtuous

What is worse than being a nurse having a family member in the hospital in critical condition? What is worse than having some knowledge about what is going on and having a family member in critical condition?

It feels like doctors don't really want to tell you much. They come in, tell you why things are the same as they were yesterday, blah blah blah. You want to grab them and shake them and say: WHAT THE HELL IS REALLY GOING ON HERE??!! But you can't. You will become the problem family. The nurses will hate you.

As a nurse it is hard not to second guess all that is going on. You see all the stuff, you know what it is, why its there. Every time you come in the room, you quickly asses what has changed. Okay IVs no change. Check. Vent settings - something changed - WTF?

I tell them I am a nurse from the beginning. I don't want to play games. I figure maybe the nurse will let me in more on things. But whats weird is nurses tend to parrot what the doctor wants you to hear: We have to be patient, we are making progress a little at a time, blah blah blah. I guess they have to. Everybody has to be on the same page.

I know there are nurses that come into a situation like this and they are like a bull in a china shop, questioning everything, judging everyones abilities, etc. There isn't any point in that. They really are doing the best they can. One thing that has struck me about the nurses is how kind they are, how nice they are. They care. That helps more than they will ever know. You know that if they are kind to the family you know they will be kind to my loved one. Nurses make all the difference.