Monday, July 29, 2013

the poop queen

Here is how wikepedia defines poop:

Feces, waste product from an animal's or a human's digestive tract expelled through the anus, including synonyms crap and shit.

I was the poop queen today, a title I didn't want, really didn't deserve.  But alas there it is. I wear the crown, I have the sash.

This is the kind of day when you make bad choices.  In my ER we don't assign rooms, we just take our share of patients.  It works fine.  But see, in this kind of system, its all about choice.  You see whats in triage, you see the magic move from triage to  a room on the computer.  You see the complaint.  This is the time when you decide whether to go for it or suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Well, like a fool, I went for it.  And thats when the day went downhill.  Poo poo pants on arrival by ambulance. Uh oh.  Now its too late.  I am committed.  Why didn't I go to the bathroom when I had the chance?  Damn it!

Okay, one poop, no big deal.  But then there was another and another and another.  And of course, when someone is incontinent in the ER, it is not your normal stool.  It is usually liquid and odorous.  Its the kind of thing where it stays in your nose for the next hour.

Okay, they are gone, up to an inpatient  room for someone else to worry about.  Whew..

Here's the thing about this kind of day, when you have one, you will have more.  So my second patient with a poo poo problem.  More cleaning. I'm doomed.

Its the kind of day that when you get home you want to boil your scrubs.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sometimes you are the pooper, but as a nurse you are much more likely to be the poopee. I feel your pain