Wednesday, November 19, 2014

31 uses for duct tape in the ER

Its an oldie but goodie....

1)IV pole broke: Tape the IV bag to any nearby surface: the monitor, the wall, the patients relative, etc.

2) Demented Donald trying to get out of bed? Duct tape will keep him in bed.

3) Duct tape that irritating drunks mouth shut.

4) No security available to watch your suicidal patient? Duct tape will keeep them in bed and SAFE.

4) Out of arm slings? Fashion one out of a piece of cardboard and tape.

5) Patient hairy and need to put him on the monitor? Duct tape will remove that hair for lead placement.

6) Backboards all in use? Take the sliding board, some rolled towels and tape and fashion your own version of spine stablization.

7) Duct tape your manager to a chair.

8) Low on suture or staples: A quick and easy laceration repair.

9) Tape patients gown together for trip to bathroom.

10) Out of adult diapers: use towel and duct tape substitute.

11) Tape NG, ET tube, foley in place.

12) Tape patients wig or toupee in place.

13) Never lose it again: tape you pen, scissors, roll of tape, stethoscope to yourself.

14) Make letters RN on uniform so patients will know you are their nurse. You know how everybody gets confused...

15) Afraid your patient might wander off? Put their name on it, room number and attach to gown.

16) Cheap shoulder immobilizer.

17) Confused grandma will never pull out her IV again.

18) Tape your nostrils together for that smelly clean up

19) Cheap eye patch.

20)  Patient has hyperactive kid that keeps running around.  Tape to wall (see picture).

21) Duct tape educator to chair - no more of those irritating online quarterly education classes.

22) Patient keeps coughing in your face, won't cover their mouth - use as a mask.  Hey relax...they can still breathe out of their nose...

23) Doctor order an enema?  Duct tape them out at the triage window.

24)  Never get lunch? Tape a snack to yourself.  Tape a water bottle to yourself.

25) Tape the ER entrance shut when you get too busy.

26) Tape the annoying family member/friend to their chair so they won't stand at the door looking annoyed when the visit drags on and on....

27) Cheap alternative to restraints.

28) Tape OCD/candy man/overordering  doctor to chair. 

29)  Tape the clipboard carriers into their cubicles sans computer so they can't come up with more annoying new policies.

30) Cheap hazmat suit.

31) Hold JCAHO/CMS/Department of Health, chest pain/stroke/magnet/any assinine certifier hostage at least til the end of your shift...

Your thoughts?


Anonymous said...

Tape Carrie the call bell's thumb to her hand, heck tape her whole hand. Tape rolled up blankets to bed rails for seizure precautions (actually use this). Tape non skid footwear to demented patient so he can't remove it.

best one was tape tape to self- lol.

Anonymous said...

This was hilarious!! Thank you!