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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

which ER supplies the softest, most cuddly and toasty warm blankie?

I'm thinking about starting a new local ER website. As a service to humanity.

On this site would be listings of every ER in the city and the waiting times on their websites. Listed in order of least waiting time to most. Length of typical visit.

In the interest of serving the community, there would be a list of whether the ER has:

1) box or bag lunches and their contents and rotation
2) types of (cold, icy) juice and selection of crackers
3) whether they supply warm, cuddly, toasty blankets.
4) footie availability and color selection
5) whether they have TV (with HDTV cable or DVD availibility)
6) probability of getting a cab voucher or bus token
7) probability of you scoring a script for percocet
8) probability of you taking an ambulance in for a sore throat and getting back to a room versus being put in the lobby
9) comfort of chairs in lobby and presence of TV, fish tank, vending machines (quality of snacks, selection of sodas), play area
10) whether your car can be valet parked on arrival

There would be a comment section in which you could name names about which docs at which ERs were Dr Feelgoods.

Oh the fun that could be had! The comments section could be entertaining in and of itself.

Hey...its a competitive world out there and patient satisfaction is the goal of every single solitary person in the ER, including of course, yours truly, thus 

1 comment:

Sherry RN said...

Fabulous idea! Our ER once offered prizes to patients who had to wait too long, didn't like the staff, or felt their rights had somehow been trampled upon. Soon word got out that the ER was giving out fruit baskets, flowers, gift cards to Target, or candy, and all you had to do was complain.

"My nurse was mean to me" was my favorite," as it took little explanation and was immediately accepted by the manager with a sound of utter disgust at the staff's inappropriateness. Soon the patient was consoled with an apology from staff, attention from the manager, and the prize for coming in for a complaint best handled by a family practitioner.

They say nurses are natural teachers, but these are not the types of lessons we really want to relay.

Bazinga!