Friday, May 01, 2015

The 7 grossest things I have ever seen or heard of in the ER

I tried to come up with ten  of the grossest things I have seen or heard of in the ER, but alas I only came up with seven. Let's go from least grossiosity to most grossiosity, shall we?

7) Anything that anybody brings in that's in a jar or ziplock bag, including pee, poop, vomit or something that came out of one of your bodies orifices.  Also includes bugs or critters. One time a guy brought in "parasites" that were supposedly coming out of him and I think it turned out to be tofu.

6) Food or alcohol that comes out when we do gastric lavage for an overdose A gastric lavage is when we insert a large tube down into your stomach, pump water in and ent then take back out.  Fortunately we rarely do this anymore.  Why is it people eat a large meal before they overdose?  But alas, the smell of alcohol is the worst.

5) One time a guy came in with these two black growths on his forehead that looked like horns (gross). A brilliant (!) Doctor came in and decided to burn them off right in the ER.  So we had the smell of burning flesh all through the ER til that was done.

4) In the "another great human invention" area there is the scathingly brilliant idea of dipping a joint in embalming fluid, drying it and smoking it....actually had a guy that did that.

3) Once someone was getting undressed and a dead mouse fell out of their pants.

2) maggots.....'nuff said.

1) A person had been to Guatemala and while there ate undercooked pork. They got worms from it that had migrated to their brain.....and that folks is the grossest thing I have ever heard of.


Anonymous said...

I love your contributions and have done for years; please keep posting as you're hilarious.

Much Kudo and evil medical professional cuddles

Ms J

Unknown said...

Hydatid tapeworm cyst!!! Learnt all about the dangers of this when doing parasites in college. A semi-famous guy in a punk band here had this happen to him from a dodgy taco in south america. He started seizuring and that's when they figured it out. Hey man you have a tapeworm cyst in your brain and we just need to operate to sort that out before you die. Whaaaat!!!

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