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Friday, January 27, 2012

Attn: ER staff will now be required to literally kiss the ass of every patient

The message has been heard LOUD and CLEAR by hospitals that REIMBURSEMENT WILL BE BASED ON PATIENT SATISFACTION in regard to medicare and this will drive the future of reimbursement.

All of this is now trickling down to those of us who actually do the work of caring for the patients. Its a WHATEVER THE PATIENTS WANTS WE ARE GOING TO DO, PERIOD, END OF CONVERSATION AND YOU WILL ALL GO ALONG WITH IT OR ELSE.

First thing that happened with this: Changing nurse uniform color so patients will be able to "identify" the nurse better. I don't even want to get into it, but suffice it to say that the hospital had already decided what color they wanted but made a phony attempt at making the nurses believe we had a choice of which color by vote. We now get at least one email daily about things like "don't forget to order your uniforms in a timely manner, so you will be ready". Duh, I really think we can figure this out on our own. Here's the thing: There is another group of employees in the ER who wear the new color and so do xray techs. No doubt all the litle old ladies and crackheads and drunks will be awful confused.

Next "initiative": Every room willl have a greaseboard in which the doc, nurse, EMT, etc will place their name. Ah yeah...I can see the docs doing this...the docs will expect us to do this. Forget it, put your own damn name up there. This has been tried before. Didn't work.

I can't wait for the next "initiative". No doubt there is a committee meeting about it. Maybe it will be required that the ER staff should kiss the ass of everybody who comes in. After all, this stuff is so much more important that the ACTUAL PATIENT CARE.

11 comments:

Nurse K said...

The govt will withhold 1% of 30% of Medicare/Medicaid reimbursement and give it back to you at the end of the year if you meet some sort of patient satisfaction numbers on the HCAHPS survey...So patient satisfaction only counts for 1% of 30% of Medicare/Medicaid reimubursement, which is probably a couple hundred thousand bucks or so for your hosptial.

This % will go up to 3% of 30% over the course of a couple of years, so yeah, it's some money, but it's bird droppings in a big pile of overall horse sh*t.

The fact that I remembered all that off the top of my head is scary, btw.

girlvet said...

So this is all bullshit and an evil plot to control the nurses. I knew it...

Anonymous said...

I have received a number of surveys from places that have provided me with medical care recently. I would like some advice, please, on how to fill them out and what comments to include so that folks like you receive the most benefit.

One time, on a non-medical customer satisfaction survey, I recommended that the company not spend money conducting surveys but rather ask the employees what management could do to make their jobs easier. Who knows better than they do?

My main objection to medical surveys like this is that they are essentially meaningless. I can tell if the people are nice to me, but I'm not a health professional and have no idea how to judge the actual quality of care I received.

Maybe it's time for the public to stop enabling management this way. Suggestions welcome.

--Queen Anne's Lace

Nurse K said...

Always answer with the most extreme positive answer like "always" or "excellent", not the second most extreme, which usually is the same as saying "never" or "awful" to the survey results.

Feel free to give a voicemail to the nurse manager if someone was particularly helpful!

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Nurse K. I will do that.

You're right about the number scale. I know a case (not medical) where a provider got grilled (nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition) because he received a rating of 8 or 9 instead of 10 from a client.

Obviously, I have a low opinion of surveys, which I fear are just another means of bullying the employees if that's what management wants to do.

--Queen Anne's Lace

Crystal said...

I have to say that after reading some of you're blog entries that I am a little put off,with the title I expected to come here and find some funny albeit embarrasing stories about patients/doctors etc. However reading that you make fun of patients w/other nurses? In my book that's not even remotely okay :( I have spent alot of time in hospitals and met some nice nurses,some not so nice nurses and some down-right bitc*es!! I just wonder which you are?

Crystal said...

I have to say that after reading some of you're blog entries that I am a little put off,with the title I expected to come here and find some funny albeit embarrasing stories about patients/doctors etc. However reading that you make fun of patients w/other nurses? In my book that's not even remotely okay :( I have spent alot of time in hospitals and met some nice nurses,some not so nice nurses and some down-right bitc*es!! I just wonder which you are?

Joseph Reed said...

Unfortunately, Crystal, it seems that the vast majority of patients presenting to the ER are there not because of an emergent illness or injury but because of emergent ignorance. They are unable to take care of their own social problems or VERY MINOR ailments, so they ignorantly seek out the most expensive form of medical care they can dream up...the ER. Merely making fun of such patients is actually charitable compared to the treatment they truly deserve. Being an ER nurse myself, I've never seen other nurses making fun of those that are truly sick and in need of emergency care.

girlvet said...

i'm a bitch definitely and i hate the patients and everything about nursing, happy now?

SurveyTool said...

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Danielle Reyes said...

So this is all bullshit and an evil plot to control the nurses. I knew it...