Saturday, January 21, 2012

emergency department no-no's

from the archives

Emergency department no-no's:

1) Don't fall and come in by ambulance and have a baggie of crack in your sock that the doctor finds when he examines you. At age 65 no less. Then keep coming out of your room yelling that we have no right to take your property.

2) Don't come in with your girlfriend (the patient) and then go out to the ER entrance and try the door on a car that is sitting there and get in and look around for something to steal. Then go back in your girlfriends room like nothing happened.You see my dear moron, we have cameras at the entrance, so smile you are BUSTED!

3) Don't come in with your boyfriend and both of you ask to be seen for the same thing: chronic back pain. Then expect both of you to get a supply of Vicodin. I don't think so.

4) Don't go in the bathroom and down a bottle of jack daniels before you are admitted to mental health.

5) Don't come in after being banned from 3 local hospitals because you were sexually aggressive and threatened to kill the staff, then set your sights on our hospital.

6) Don't adjust your own IV pump to cause yourself another medical problem so you can be admitted.

7) Don't call us on the phone and ask if we do c-sections there because you are "tired of carrying this baby".

8) Don't pack some hospital sheets and towels into a patient belongings bag and try to leave with them. EWWWW!

9) Don't come in for something related to your pregnancy and then steal the fetal heart monitor that we used to hear your baby's heartbeat.

10) Don't tie up your dog at the emergency entrance and then come in to be seen.


midwest woman said...

#7......someone really did this?

Unknown said...

This needs to be printed out and posted in triage lol

Anonymous said...

haha. The #10 is quite weird. Never experienced a dog patient is the ER. I guess the pediatrician is not available, eh, bad pet owner. :)lol.

Peny@Celebrate Valentine’s Day With Our Love & Heart Prints

ERP said...

I vote for letting the dog in - unless it's a vicious pit bull or something.
Cute, friendly dogs would cheer up the place.

Scrubs said...

It's crazy what people will do while waiting to be seen!