Sunday, January 15, 2012

We interupt this blog...


Attention all citizens:

The following are not emergencies:

1) bug bites - unless it have swollen to the size of a baseball

2) the fact that you cannot control your teenage daughter or son

3) you are fatigued or can't sleep

4) you want your son, daughter, brother, sister, etc. to get chemical dependency treatment

5) the condom broke

6) you are hungover

7) G tube not working

8) the cut is less than 1"

9) any kind of medication refill

10) menstrual cramps

Thank you,

your neighborhood ER


Wildrow said...

May I add one?

11. Being put under a Baker Act just because you sassed a cop and they had nothing else to charge you with.

Anonymous said...

You need a pregnancy test.
You smoked a joint and now feel funny.
You are hungry.

Sara said...

Student nurse here. Why would G tube not working not be an emergency? I thinking if the G tube came out and you couldn't get the back-up in. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Bwhahahaha - did you mean to title this post with 'pubic'? Nevertheless, it reminds me of a hilariously mistyped resume highlighting the person's Pubic Accounting background.

RehabRN said...

Of course, the non-working GT is a problem if you don't have any injectable morphine and your customer really is a pain in pain.

My favorite was the character with us who had his G/J tube replaced 4 times in less than a year. Someone wasn't very coordinated with scissors (on purpose at least once).

Pretty sad when going to the ER is the highlight of someone's day.

Anonymous said...

@ Sara pulled out g tube might be a reason to go to the ER but if it is just plugged there are so many other courses of action to try. Warm water with an agitating flushing action or even cola have been used in my experience to unplug the little suckers. To prevent it plugging up flushing plenty of water after feedings and medications and disolving medications well before putting them through the tube.

Debbie said...

I love you ER nurse!! I am an FNP who works in rural ERs. Can we post this in every ER around the country? Oh, wait....they will all think "Well, my situation is SPECIAL and DIFFERENT..."

Emergency Lights said...

The latter may include requirements that differ from the recommendations of this report, and take priority over them.