Sunday, July 22, 2012

red flags in ER

summer rerun

Red flags in the ER:

1) You say you have "chemical sensitivities".
2) You have more than 2 allergies.
3) You have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, some kind of syndrome no one has ever heard of.
3) You bring your MRI or CT with you, usually of your back, stating you can't get into see the doctor for a "couple of weeks".
4) You say you just moved here from out of town.
5) You bring a suitcase with you.
6) You brought something in a bag that you want to show me.
7) You can't tolerate the "pain" of an automatic blood pressure cuff.
8) You're allergic to haldol or thorazine.
9) You are 40 and your mother is accompanying you
10) You say another emergency room "don't know what they're doin'".
11) Your medical problem started in 1930.
12) You say "yes ma'am a lot.
13) Your relative is taking notes.
14) The medics want me to come outside of your room to give me report.
15) You are taking more than 3 psych meds.
16) Your wife, daughter, husband, son, etc. speaks for you.
17) We have to bring a cart to get you out of the car but somehow you got yourself into it at home.
18) You are eating a big mac on arrival to the ER.
19) Your relative calls ahead to say you are coming.
20) Your first question at the triage desk is: How long is the wait?


Urgent Care Justice said...

Red flags for what? Not in need of dire medical attention. There are some that are perfectly normal on here and others that are drug seeking behavior and others that are just odd but what "red flags" are they raising?

Municipal Parameidc said...

some of these "red flags" are just behavior of scared people. which is completely normal under the circumstances of being in an ER. just a thought.

Anonymous said...

If you have to ask if we take your insurance...
Those that say these are 'normal' and people are just scared- just like other professions, we have to keep our wits about things. So this is our humor, not intended to offend.
If you have to wait for the game to go off before you can come to ER (i.e. football, baseball, basketball). Odd how we tend to get busier after a game goes off.

Anonymous said...

They are Red Flags that you are a douchebag.... None of these are behaviors of "normal people". But really, how many normal people do we see in the ER anyway?!?

Anonymous said...

Very few normal people because they go to their primary physician and only see us if they have a really emergency (MI, stroke, MVC) and they aren't behaving like that. Red flags that you are a hospital jumper, drug seeker, complainer, looking for a reason to sue someone, frequent flier or just plain crazy take your pick.

Anonymous said...

I think you have to work in the ER to understand these "Red Flags". I am an ER nurse and totally get it. Most people who go to the ER for stupid shit are douchbags.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I agree and had an ER full of them last night.

Anonymous said...

So, for numbers 2 and 3, you being a sucky med student is a red flag? Holy god, allergies - can't have that. Something that wasn't in my limited education? No, I'd have to google and I just don't have time. Do my job? Fuck no. I'm an ableist asshole who is going to assume you're full of shit because I am god.