Tuesday, September 24, 2013

nurse report is obsolete

"Calling report" is an antiquated dumb nursing thing.  I mean seriously we have ELECTRONIC MEDICAL RECORDS that we all have access to.  Everything that happened in the ER is on that record for you to peruse at your leisure in the 2 hours it takes the charge nurse to approve the bed. Why do I have to repeat all this shit? Why? B
ecause nurses can't let go of dumb stuff.

Calling report is, shall we say, an "interesting" experience.  I would put the nurses into 3 categories when you call report:

SHORT, SWEET SALLY:  We love these kind of nurses.  They usually have already looked at the chart, listen to our dumb calling report performance and say: OK, room so and so.  No questions, just send them up.

NEW GRADUATE GEMMA: OMG...this person acts like they have never heard of an electronic record.  They ask questions that should be obvious to any half way intelligent human being. Nursing 101 stuff.  I don't know if granny had a bowel movement today, considering she is agitated as shit, it never came up.

SUPERIOR NURSE SAMANTHA:  This nurse thinks that anyone who does not work in her area is an idiot.  They are the kind of nurse that will ask you if you checked the pedal pulses on a head bleed.  Then they will condescendingly say: "You didn't, okkkaaay..." It always feel like you are taking a test with these people and you will never pass.

Report  = stupid.  One thing about report though, its allows the station to delay getting the patient.  The nurse is busy because:

they are at break
they are in an isolation room
they just got a post op
there is an emergency on the station (love that one - apparently everyone is involved)
etc etc etc

Often times you are transferred person to person to person in an attempt to "find" the nurse. You are placed on eternal hold.  You are hung up on.

The whole thing is ridiculous and a waste of time.


Anonymous said...

Of course on my unit, half the time, the first inkling I have that I'm getting an admit is when the ER nurse is calling me to give me report. So I don't even have a Medical Record number to go off of before that. LOL. Usually, I tell em to just give me the high points, shoot me the MR number, give me a few minutes to make sure I've got everything I need in the room (since the house supe and charge nurse didn't tell me I was getting an admit) and I'll finish looking at the record as they're getting wheeled up to the room. Within 5-10 minutes, the patient should be in the room and settled. Works like a charm. I love (almost all) of my ER nurses!

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aliya seen said...

We love these kind of nurses. They usually have already looked at the chart, listen to our dumb calling report performance and check it carefully.

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