Sunday, April 28, 2013

our ER becomes the Target ER

My ER is shabby, old, falling apart, embarrassing really.  We are an inner city ER and last on the list for renovation because of that. Every other ER in the system has been redone, but then most are located in the suburbs where people have insurance and wouldn't come to a broken down ER.  Since the poor and elderly city folks don't have a choice, they still come to ours and don't expect a shiny new ER.  So the heads of the corporation don't really give a shit what our ER looks like.

So I have an idea.  We get Target to sponsor our ER.  We become the Target ER.  Target pays for the renovation.  We put a big bulls eye on the front of the ER.  The employees all dress in red scrub tops and tan pants with a target bulls eye on the pocket.  Everywhere you look there are signs that say: "This ER brought to you by Target".  Our patients are called guests...Target could advertise that they sponsor us at different events, on TV, the internet.  Its win-win for everybody.

In fact lets just extend this whole concept to all of medicine.  I mean health care has become a corporate, profit motivated environment anyway.  Lets go all the way.  Lets let corporations sponsor hospitals, clinics, every part of it.  It would save our system from economic collapse.  Companies would compete with each other to be sponsors of hospitals.

Becoming the Target ER is the only way I can think of that we will ever get a renovation.


hoodnurse said...

Then all the patients would get upset about getting the Target brand Dilaudid. "I don't want that generic shit!"

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Anonymous said...

Be careful of what you wish for. they might buy you up and cut your wages to $8.50/ hour and get a greeter at triage

Aesop said...

Too late.

Already have a greeter in triage.

And I swear, someone's printing discount coupons for us somewhere.

I just want to be able to kick the effing shoplifters out.