Wednesday, November 27, 2013


Let me start out by reinforcing the fact that I AM EVIL. That has already been well established. With that in mind, I have to say that I get a perverse delight when we bust a drug seeker. Its like I want to go around and high fiver my co-workers.  Yeah! Score one for our side!

I am continually amazed at the sheer stupidity of some drug seekers. I mean seriously, you are telling me that you have an anaphalactic reaction to ibuprofen, toradol,, vicodin.....could it be that you want P-P-P-Percocet?!!!  Ding ding ding!  One point for me.  The holidays are so much easier with a little perc on board.

And whats this you have no ID and have never been here before and your name is Bob Johnson. The thing is the Doc recognizes you as Stan Smith he saw 2 months ago.

Exit stage left.  Life is good


Deb said...

Just found your blog and I LOVE it! I'm someone who goes through excruciating pain - chronic more or less which led me to use way too many NSAIDS that caused me to vomit black coffee grind-like crap and black stool. Anyway, my wife brought me up to the hospital. I also had severe pain on my lower right side and from my belly button. I said, "I get pain everywhere, it's no big deal." They gave me an ultrasound and a cat scan to see if it was appendicitis. The doctor said, "It looks suspicious for appendicitis and you have blood in your stool (from a rectal exam)….no dinner, no nutting'…… So for the pain, the FIRST thing they offered me was Dilaudid!!!!! Like WTF??? Are you kidding me??? My pain was like an 8 or something. I'm allergic to morphine anyway --- so isn't Dilaudid another form of it? I hate Percs and I despise Vicodin, so they said, "Well we can't give you Toradol or NSAIDS since you stomach is bleeding -- which is understandable. But my God -- this staff at the ER was ready to pull the big guns on me with some "GOOD" stuff. I hate being loopy. I don't know why some people enjoy the feeling of it. Anyway, I'm in the ER more than I would like for various reasons: pseudo chest pains (GERD or costochondritis), thought to be clot in my leg, (edema), MYRSA for a bit that led me on a antibiotic drip for days. More or less, your typical hypochondriac with semi-real causes. LOL

You guys go through so much and I'm not sure if anyone even takes the time to thank you for all your patience and hard work that goes into what you do.

Do you have an article about hypochondriacs? I would love to see what you guys think of us! We're so annoying and a waste of space! Wanna laugh? Take a look at a post I wrote about my hypochondriacal ER visit……

Deb said...

P.S. The diagnosis was a cyst on my liver. A CYST! lol