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Wednesday, March 11, 2015

pain scale follies

I've decided that I am going to save myself and you a lot of time at triage. I am no longer going to ask what is your level of pain on a 1 to 10 scale.  You know, ten being the worst and all.  From this day forward EVERYBODY IS A TEN.

I don't care if you have a puncture wound that is so small I can't see it. I don't care if you haven't had a bowel movement for 2 hours. I don't care if the nurse line told you to check into the ER for that stubbed toe.  ALL OF YOU ARE A TEN, DAMMIT.

That way I won't want to slap you silly when you tell me you are ten for elbow pain that has been going on for ten years and your doctor in the state you moved here from just retired and you are out of your pain meds and you can't get into the new doctor for a month and you just need enough pain meds to make it through til then and you are very sorry for bothering us and you have a very high pain tolerance normally, but this is just too much for even you, who had a broken leg in 1978 and this pain feels very similar to that and you wouldn't bother us if it wasn't that bad.

YOU ARE A TEN!! GO SIT DOWN.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Then they will say they are a 20 just to bug you.