Wednesday, October 12, 2011

mr. bear comes out of hibernation

Once upon a time there was a man...
He was found passed out on the grass. Somebody passing by called 911. In he came by ambulance to our fair ER.

On arrival he was so drunk that he just slept for a long time. Arrangements were made to send him to the friendly neighborhood detox center. An IV had been started during his admission to give him the "infamous" banana bag. The IV had to be removed. As it was being taken out, the bear woke up and came out of hibernation. The bear wasn't happy at being disturbed from his long drunken nap. He sprang out of his lair (room), took off down the hall yelling "I'm going home! I'm going home!"

His commotion drew a crowd including his doctor who asked to see him in his room. Of course the bear was havin' none of that. He shouted "I want to go home". Not an option Mr Bear he was told. Alas, a suite has been arranged for you at the local detox-o-rama. Those accommodations were not acceptable to Mr. Bear who now refused to go back to his room in a loud voice.

Meanwhile reinforcements had been called in in the form of several security guards. (You know they are serious when they start putting gloves on). They surround Mr Bear and try the calm approach first - talking him down. Mr Bear called them among other things "bitches, toy cops". Finally Mr Bear made a wrong move and he was taken the floor, handcuffed and then placed in restraints on the cart. Mr Bear has now burst into tears. Not so tough after all. He is given sedation and waits for the ambulance to take him to detox now on a 72 hour hold.

No one got hurt. Always a bonus. Entertainment and education was provided for all the other patients. the end


Meghan said...

Argh, but the charting was a bitch i'm sure. Once they're coherent and ambulatory, why can't you just let them leave? That's our criteria. Alert, ambulatory, and eating/drinking without vomiting. (Kind of like conscious sedation).

Anonymous said...

That's why I miss A&E...the fun, the entertainment and the sheer unadulterated bampot-erie.

Teaching just can't compare.