Maybe instead of betting on the drunks alcohol level, we should bet on which drug seeker makes a score.
Here is a synopsis of the "Most likely to score a percocet script drug seeker".
1) White
2) Woman
3) Dressed normal (no cleavage, short shorts)
4) Educated
5) Apologetic
6) Polite
7) Accompanied by concerned male (preferably husband) version of 1,3,4
Other factors:
1) Is doctor in bad mood?
2) Is doctor busy?
3) Is doctor tired?
And there you have it folks, "the most likely to score percocet drug seeker" in a nutshell.
9 comments:
but not too apologetic or it would be a red flag.
-whitecap nurse
hahahahaha
Don't forget allergies. True drug seekers are allergic to tylenol, torodol, advil, aspirin, buscopan...the only meds they aren't allergic to are morphine, demerol, percocet, oxy or fentynal.
Is there some way to note how many times a person has been to a hospital and been given drugs? Because honestly as a middle age white woman it sort of worries me that if someone sees me in an ER they are going to be assuming I am a drug seeker. Of course, I am allergic to morphine, Demerol, Percocet, oxy and fentynl and only want Tylenol, but hey. Here's to hoping I never have to go to an ER
Not to worry....I'm a ER nurse times 30 years. I'm also middle aged and white, a little fat too and with more that a few grey hairs that L'Oreal can't seem to cover anymore. I KNOW the difference between a person in pain from pain and a person acting like they are in pain...here's the difference, the real pain person sweats, cries even when the doc isn't in the room, doesn't drink Coke and eat chips from the vending machine when they think no one is looking. They don't text their boyfriends with updates, they don't chat on the phone, they don't wander the department. Don't worry. If you are in ER with legitimate pain.... we can tell and we believe you and better yet, we are more than happy to help you because you are in our department with a legitimate problem.
White women: Percocets
Black women: crack
Makes sense. lol
D@MN what does it matter just give it to them, at least in an ER setting they're not going to be found dead of an overdose in a heroin den or dead in their bedroom from some conterfeit drug purchase online. I understand the whole I will do no harm oath but I believe in taking the route of lesser harm.
How can I get my hands on some percocet. Desperately seeking
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