Translate

Monday, August 01, 2011

GOUT: slimy, bottom dwelling scavenger fish

So I have pain and swelling and redness. In my foot. Went to the doctor. Never seen this doctor before. I'm not a big doctor user. She looks at the foot, presses on the swollen and reddened part and I say OUCH! and think about hitting her. She orders an xray to rule out fracture and on the way out of the room says that she thinks I have gout.

Now gout is a very unattractive word. I mean GOUT. It sounds like some kind of slimy bottom dwelling scavenger fish. Gout is something old men get isn't it? WTF? How can I have gout?

She orders some blood tests, gives me an antibiotic and motrin script and tells me to come back in a couple of days. So I go home, immediately go on line to look up GOUT. I convince myself I have GOUT, that at that very moment uric acid crystals are surrounding my joint destroying it. That I will have chronic GOUT. I mean what woman of my age has GOUT? For cripes sake. I don't even want to tell people. I mean GOUT. Its embarassing.

Turns out, you guessed it, I don't have GOUT. Thank God. I have cellulitis. That I can live with. Its a lot more socially acceptable. Here that doctor had me all worked up thinking I had GOUT and shit. She shouldn't scare people like that.

6 comments:

Lynda Halliger-Otvos said...

Gout !~! Yikes, wonder if that’s why my thumb acts up so badly sometimes ??? Must go read about thumbs-you have intrigued me.

Anonymous said...

oh yeah....cellulitis....SOOOOO MUCH BETTER! not...that crap can spread...

Anonymous said...

The original poster is a bitch.

Gerard said...

Very helpful piece of writing, much thanks for the article.
free invitation maker | holiday recipes Christmas | cute lingerie

Paul said...

Quite worthwhile material, thank you for the post.
Nuts recipes

kaney said...

Gout occurs in approximately 275 out of every 100,000 people. Men have higher chances of developing gout as compared to women. Men aged 40 to 50 are found to be the majority gout victims. Women rarely develop gout before menopause. Gout affects men and women differently: Men tend to develop gout at an earlier age as compared to women. Alcohol is often associated with the development of gout in men. Gout is rare in children and young adults.

Mag Glycinate Mag Glycinate