***PUBIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT***
Attention all citizens:
The following are not emergencies:
1) bug bites - unless it have swollen to the size of a baseball
2) the fact that you cannot control your teenage daughter or son
3) you are fatigued or can't sleep
4) you want your son, daughter, brother, sister, etc. to get chemical dependency treatment
5) the condom broke
6) you are hungover
7) G tube not working
8) the cut is less than 1"
9) any kind of medication refill
10) menstrual cramps
That is all...go about your business.