TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2011
an ER night before Christmas
Gather around kiddies and let Madness read you an ER version of Twas the Night Before Christmas:
'Twas the night before Christmas,the ER is jumpin'.
The chaos at triage is really quite somethin'.
The charts are all stacked in the new patient bin,
I think to myself: we NEVER can win.
The patients are nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of Dilaudid dance in their heads.
The doc has his gloves on, and I have the tray, its off to that abscess, as I lead the way..
When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter, I sprinted for triage to see what was the matter.
The lobby was chaos, a sight to behold, every other person seemed to have a bad cold.
When what to my disbelievin' eyes did appear,
a frequent flier named Herman we do not hold dear.
With a shuffle, a groan and blood curdling scream, (oh no this can't be happenin' its all a bad dream!)
He appeared with a backpack, along with a sack, and shouted quite loudly: there's somethin' wrong with my back!
He was cursin' and cryin' and carryin' on, he looked around widely and asked for nurse Don,
Or Susan or Wendy or Alan or Fred,
Do something somebody and get me a bed!
By the way I am hungry, haven't eaten in a week, I need a warm blanket and footies for my feet,
I need a glass of water with a whole lotta ice, Now go please hurry, I don't wanna ask twice!
He went on a cart, told you gotta wait your turn, you been here enough, when are you gonna learn?
I turned back to triage, looked straight ahead, trying to stave off that feeling of dread
As I stifled a yawn and was turning around, Up to the window this jolly man came with a bound,
He was dressed in scrubs except with a red and white cap, His face appeared tired, like he jus' woke from a nap,
He was pushing a cart that was laden with sweets,
Some kind soul had come through with the sweet treats.
He asked to be let in, and rolled the cart on through, stopped at the reg desk to give a cookie or two,
He walked back to the HUC desk, gave a wink to the crew,
Asked everybody: What can I get for all of you?
He resembled Santa in a very odd way,
He smiled and laughed and had this to say:
Tomorrow is Christmas, oh what can I bring?
What can I bring to make your heart sing?
Oh Santa, dear Santa, somebody spoke up and said: we just want some peace, all this racket to cease,
Santa nodded and said he'd see what he could do, to make a nice christmas for this emergency crew.
"Goodbye!" Santa said as he rolled the cart out, "Merry Chirstmas to all!" he said with a shout,
I went back to triage to see what difference I could make,
I looked around slowly, did a quick double take
Herman was gone, his bed tied up with a bow,
I asked another nurse: where the heck did that silly Herman go?
He was here just a minute ago, I swear it, I do, yelling and cursing and crying boo hoo.
We searched back and forth and to and fro too,
Then sat in our chairs and gave one collective: Whew!
Oh Santa had been there we all knew it clearly, the man with the scrubs had blessed us quite dearly.
Herman was gone, it was all just so good,
We had a good Christmas Eve that night in the 'hood.