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Thursday, December 12, 2013

where evil lurks

They live in the basement, back in a dark, damp corner.  Thats them with their laptop, sitting on their cot, conniving against us.  They exist in the shadows, never coming out into the light. They slink around the hospital... unseen but always looming, always waiting, ready to pounce. Who are they?

They are the people who make your life a living hell.   The people who MAKE THE CHANGES. (ThE EVIL cHanGerS)  They are the ones who decide to buy the stupid new products because they get a good deal.   They change the electronic charting to "make it better".  They come up with irrelevant new policies.

Of course ThE EVIL cHanGerS make twice the money you do. They haven't seen a bedside in 20 years. They have a lot of letters after their name. They wear REGULAR clothes.  They like to gather in groups to scheme about new changes. They seem to breed like rabbits.

They buy things like the new .5 mg Dilaudid syringes which take a rocket scientist to figure out how to use and actually come with a video to explain it. They buy IV tubing in which connecting tubing to a saline lock or connecting a piggyback requires 20 attempts. They change charting to "become more efficient".  The thing is it requires 20 more steps to complete. It makes charting a blood transfusion akin to building a nuclear reactor.

They give us more gray hair. Make us want to go running screaming from the building.  Want to wring somebodys neck.  Make us spend the majority of our time away from the patients filling in blanks.

They are  ***ThE EVIL cHanGerS****.  Some day the nurses will rise up.  They will hunt them down and there will be hell to pay.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought we had them all at my hospital. Tis the season to share. Please keep them! ;)

Crusty ER TECH said...

Me thinks I saw these types referred to as "Clip Board Nurses" some place before.

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart- if you floor nurses had any idea what goes into running a hospital, you'd want to be more educated about the "changes". It ain't your administration, sissy-pants, it's the government that makes the rules. Unless you want to work for free, the rules are there to make sure the hospital gets paid so that you get a paycheck... or, you could get your dead ass off the nursing floor and do something to affect that change. Hmmm... no, it's much easier to bitch about it.

girlvet said...

Sissypants??!!! Sissypants??!!

Oh no you did't. You really have no idea how evil I really am do you?
I will crush you like a bug...