Wednesday, November 30, 2011

uncle, I say, uncle...

Uncle. I surrender. I give up. I am waving the white flag.

I have come to the conclusion that I, madness the nurse, cannot possibly be the nurse that my employer wants me to be. So I've decided that I won't even try.

Here is what my employer wants me to do as a nurse:

1) Always have a shit eating grin on my face.

2) When someone calls me a "fucking bitch" and threatens me, "de-escalate" the situation by trying to understand the patients point of view.

3) Do not judge anybody - happily give narcotics to that drug seeker. Welcome that frequent flyer with a "hey Bob, what can we do for you today?".

4) Never question the doctor - THEY ARE THE DOCTOR and you're not, remember that. If the doctor chooses to order 50 tests on every person, give dilaudid to heroin Harry, that is their perogative. Your job is to carry out that order, no questions asked.

5) Be okay with the fact that some of your coworkers cannot carry their share of the load and you are going to have to pick up the slack. "We"re a team".

6) Be okay with working short in a high acuity, inner city ER that doesn't have the option to close the door, or refuse patients. Your employer is trying to save money by running lean..

7) Remember to fill in the 500 blanks required on every chart for every patient you see. Expect a nastygram if you don't.

8) Accept the daily change in the electronic charting that you do and be okay with changes in things like blood administration, which used to have maybe 4 or 5 boxes to fill in, now has about 20. "We're just trying to make things better and safer".

9) Be okay with the inefficient flow of patients to inpatient rooms. Understand that housekeeping has to have at least 2 hours to clean a room and that the nurses upstairs are way busier than you are.

10) Do not complain...about anything. You knew what you were getting into when you got this job, so stop whining.

I am officially throwing the towel in.


Lynda Halliger Otvos (Lynda M O) said...

Don't blame you for one minute.

Kristina T. said...

I know 100% How you feel......I work in an ER as well and I understand your frustrations.

Anonymous said...

As a family practice nurse, I completely understand! Can't get the work done they have given me, and now we are going to add OB care too......just too much some days.

RockinRobynRN said...

I LOVE your blog!!! YOu have articulated the pure pain I feel on a daily basis. The powers that be must have a common playbook by which they dole out their "everything's peachy" campaign. I am a ICU/former ER nurse and I can tell you that "It ain't no better on the floors" The only good thing is that we can stop the admissions when we are full. YOu never have that option in the ER. I love your humor. I feel like we would be friends, bonded over a love of AMA forms, Haldol, and therapeutic 14 guages. LOL!!! Thanks for the laughs.

Lisa Gonzales said...

Main reason I got out of acute-care nursing. ICU/ER broke me. OR was ok, but boring as %$^&.

I'm management these days in a CCRC. Don't look down on's the most stress-free job I've ever had in 20 years of nursing.

Good look in whatever you end up doing....I love your writing.

krystina said...

ah yes, right before I left on maternity leave, in mid-October, we were told in our staff meeting that the nursing staff is becoming too "confrontational" with the doctors. this is what they said "You can question and suggest, but it's up to the doctor ultimately. htye thing the nurses are becoming too confrontational."
Yes, we will confront when you order Lasix on a patient who just came out of a month long septic shock who is positive for fluids. DUH! But I need to corral the toddler, he's too quiet....