when charge phone meets toilet

As the charge nurse you take all the calls noboby else wants.

Like when somebody calls who eloped and wants test results and the doctor to call in a pain script. Ah..I think not.

Or the guy whose wife six weeks ago came in and had an xray and now six months later has some questions about the results of the xray.

Or the call about a patient being transferred from a small town that no one knows about. They are coming in after having been worked up in another ER. They were supposed to be a direct admit to a floor, however no arrangements were made. Of course where are they coming. Yup right to us. Turns out in the end they had come to the wrong hospital, but were having an MI and went to the CV lab.

Or the family who wants to come down to the ER right now to talk about the death of their loved one 2 days ago and get some questions answered.

Or the local pharmacy calling about a patient presenting with 2 different prescriptions for pain pills from 2 different hospitals and what should they do.

Or the patient calling to complain about something that happened in the ER 3 days ago that they are not happy about.

All of these kind of calls happen when the place is going nuts, of course. One time when I worked charge, I had the charge phone in my pocket and I turned around to flush the toilet and the phone did a perfect swan dive into the toilet. Of course it wasn't reachable. Hey it was an accident! It could've happened to anybody! At least thats what I told them....