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Sunday, October 06, 2013

sex in the ER

Got your attention didn't I? heh heh heh

Sometimes I feel like we should put up a sign at the ER entrance: NO CONJUNGAL VISITS ALLOWED IN ER...I don't know how many times I have gone into a room and the patient and their significant other are in bed together. Or the girl is sitting on the guy's lap. Sorry to interrupt.....but I am your nurse....
I have had to stop people from making out in front of the triage desk. ah.....AHEM! You know how there is a mile high club? Maybe there is an ER club...

I have had patients out in the hall in the doorway of someone elses room having a deep discussion with the person next door. Hey can I get your number...maybe we can have coffee later....Ladies here's a piece of advice: ER is not a place to find boyfriend material...

Some people come to ER dressed like they are stopping on the way to the club. They present to the triage window with a top so low cut it practically goes down to their belly button...Ladies here's another piece of advice: Don't wear a low cut top to an ER that sits in the middle of the 'hood.

Some people think the nurse is dear abby and tell us things we really, really don't want to hear. Advice folks: I don't want to hear about you significant others kinky porno preferences...Leave your sex life at home....I really don't want to hear about it or see it.

5 comments:

Mal said...

I would have though that as a rule of thumb, anyone who felt well enough to be sexually adventurous, probrably doesn't need emergency care.

New triage question:

"Are you or would you be interested in engaging in sexual intercourse whilst in our ER? Yes? Discharge to primary care."

Anonymous said...

How about the pt who is pregnant, pain 10/10, unknown source of pain, but we're going with renal calculi, sitting on the bed waiting for pain med-making out with boyfriend, and going out to smoke after she gets it.

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Anonymous said...

or, and just for the record, not kidding...I once walked in on a woman giving a man (her pimp it turns out) a BJ. With his foley catheter in place. That was 20 years ago. The image still gags me.

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